It's a Britney Pitch!

Full disclosure: when was just a young lad I had a major crush on Britney Spears. I thought she was

"I"ll never tell, tell on myself, but I hope she buys my perfume." :)

awesome. Very attractive, and I was about 15 when she came on the scene. I was going to marry that girl. Unfortunately a few people beat me to the punch. I still love Britney. She is no stranger to endorsements. When I was 16 and could drive I went to 7-11 with my friend Shawn Haynes to get the official Britney Spears World Tour Poster and Cup Brought to you by Pepsi…for those who think young. In fact I still have that poster in my closet along with all of my Britney memorabilia. I’d never admit this on my professional blog, but you can still catch me jamming to Ms. Spears on my iPod whilst driving to work. I don’t really watch videos anymore. Unless someone has mounted a wrecking ball I probably won’t watch it. I come from a time when Carson Daily would tell me what videos to watch. Since that channel sticks to teen pregnancy now, I’ll just listen to music instead of watching. However, a recent Buzzfeed article opened my eyes to a fairly recent video by Ms. Spears. Let’s just say it’s a bit of a “circus.”

The article showed scenes from every video in which Britney used perfume. As her song “Perfume” was stuck in my head that day..and every day since then, I thought I’d give it a click. The number one gif on that list was from “Hold it Against Me.” A great song. I downloaded it legally through me on my iPhone and really enjoy it. The video as a whole is a neat concept. It has everything: Britney fighting evil Britney, Technicolor Dream Coats, and Ms. Spears dancing in front of a wall of former Britney videos. Oh, it also has a metric ton of product placement. Let’s examine what is seen in this video.

First of all you see Britney with a bottle of her signature perfume. Not a problem right? I want Britney to wear her signature scent…that way I can buy for my girlfriend and play make believe. But…holy super zoom Batman! We get an extreme close up of that bottle. A little unnecessary, but ok. We need to be able to see the name so as to purchase it later at Macy’s. This really sets the tone for the rest of the video. There are extreme close ups of several other products. I was not sure at one point if I was watching a video or a very long over-produced commercial…with lots of paint.

The next product is some kind of makeup. I don’t know much about makeup. It looks like something for your eyes. I did not see a brand on it, but I still think its product placement. It could be from her line, or Lorea’l, but I don’t think she endorses them anymore.  All I know is we got an extreme close up. So yay unidentified makeup product.

I am writing this blog on a Toshiba laptop. “The official unofficial technology partner of Label Out.” I am surprised I was able to watch the “Hold it Against Me” video though. The reason is simple. Sony computers and televisions appear at least 20 times in this thing. That includes the extreme close up you see to the left. That picture is from the actual video. I did not crop it or zoom. A little in your face Britney Jean. While I have some issues with how blatant these logos appear in the video, it is acceptable because Britney is an RCA Recording Artist. RCA Records is owned by Sony-BMG, and they would not put any other TV, computer or camera in their video.

The worst party foul comes from a little dating site that is in this video. No not Christian Mingle, but

rather Plenty of Fish. Here is the thing. This website appears in the video so many times that its ridiculous. I mean season nine of “The Office” ridiculous! But she uses a Sony computer to access the site.  First of all it’s CANADIAN! Second of all, let’s pretend Britney Spears uses a dating site…do you think she would use the RC Cola of dating sites? Probably not. Also, why would Britney use a dating site? Also, look at her past. Hey girl, if you go on Plenty of Fish you can such winners as KFed. And that poor fella she married and divorced quicker than it took me to watch season 2 of “Orange is the New Black.” Overall the video is a cool concept executed poorly by some questionable product placement.

In her second video ever, Britney appeared next to a BMW that had a blacked out logo. Oh if young Britney could look into the future and see what has occurred in almost two decades? I still Love Ms. Spears. I grew up with her music. (I am honest enough to admit that.) I simply prefer a video lie “Everytime” that is much more honest.

Jurassic World knocks product placement out of the "park."

Because Hummers are so 2002!

If you read my very first post on this blog, then you know that when I was a wee lad the film Jurassic Park is what made me first start noticing product placement in films. While I still don’t own that Ford Explorer, my love for product place is still strong. While a lot of people are concerned with the plot of the films, the dinosaurs that are appearing, and even the cast, I am more concerned with what products are going to be destroyed by a T-Rex who is having a bad day. Well, Pics of Jurassic World are starting to surface, and this young fella has a lot to look forward too.

The most important aspect to any product placement is the car tie-in. The first Jurassic Park had two versions of this placed in the film. The Ford Explorer as we know was prominent in the film as well as the Jeep Wrangler. Both were executed well. In the second film we saw the debut of the Mercedes-Benz M-Class. While it was a pretty

cool car, it was not really practical for the film. The third film had no vehicle placement and was thus awful. In this new installment we are visited by an old friend, Pics have surfaced of the original Jeep Wrangler being used in this film. Rumor has it the characters go back to the original visitor’s center at some point. So, cool, the Wrangler is back. However, a former brand partner comes back in like a wrecking ball in the form of a Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon, and the “beyond ridiculous” Mercedes-Benz G63 6x6. The G-Wagon is a classic SUV from the German automaker. It’s classy and cool. The 6x6 however is what happens when a car is inspired by overcompensation.   While both cars are pretty cool, it really does not make sense that they are in the film. The G Wagon is about $100,000. The 6x6 is about $400.000. Now the plot of this film is that the park is now functional but struggling to keep its doors open. Perhaps they could save some money by not buying company cars that are nearly half a million bucks. So, I would count this as a loss for the product placement scale.

I do wonder what is under that tape.

Last night pics surfaced of the Jurassic World brochure that guests would receive upon entering the park. From what I can tell there are no fewer than four brands represented on this brochure. Those brands include FedEx Office, Coca-Cola, Samsung, and Starbucks. Wow, product placement overload. Let’s quickly examine these brand partners.

Coke: Honestly this makes the most sense. This is a theme park after all. Any realistic tourist venue, especially a theme park, would have an official soft drink partner. If you've

ever been to a place like Six Flags, or even a football stadium, you see their logos everywhere. Thankfully

Coke is the partner here, and not those skanks from Pepsi. (Just kidding.)

Starbucks: It makes sense. Pretentious people go to theme parks too, and they crave overpriced coffee. Recently I was at a NASCAR race and they so much more than just beer and hot dogs. So this once again makes sense that a Starbucks would be in the park.

Samsung: A technology partner at a futuristic theme park where dinosaurs escape seems logical to me. I like the choice of Samsung over Apple as I personally have a Galaxy Note 3. It’s the unofficial official phone of this blog.

FedEx Office: I will call this one a bit of a stretch. The front of the brochure reads “Printed at FedEx Office.” I love FedEx, and have not been in an Office

Starbucks, so Raptors can write bad movies. 

store since they were Kinko’s, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t handle the industrial type of printing required for a massive theme park. I may be wrong though.
Note: There may be a brand partner in the form of a atv side by side, but I could not tell from the photos. I was not able to make out any logos, but it may be a Polaris. If so, it would be pretty fetch. The vehicle looks awesome.

I’m willing to bet this is just the surface of the Jurassic World brand partners. (Maybe I should say just the “Galaxy Tab” of brand partners as Microsoft makes the surface.) Anyway, expect at least a fast food chain, my guess is McDonalds, but Burger King did the Lost World after McDonalds was with the first. I’d also guess that someone like Under Armour or Nike would be in this film. It would work as a park uniform or something along those lines. After all, Chris Pratt did not lose all that weight for nothing.

Overall I am really excited for the film, and all of the official products I can buy in just under a year.